She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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