Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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