if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
