It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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