Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
