How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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