I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
