Define "chronic" masturbator.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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