Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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