Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
