in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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