Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
