literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just had sex bonerless
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
