i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
