I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
