Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
