Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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