You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
