Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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