Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
