She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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