Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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