Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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