Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
