its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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