We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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