So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
