sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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