Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
