Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize