i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
