Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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