I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
