Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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