I need help removing her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
