yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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