Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
