It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
