where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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