i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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