I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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