peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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