RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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