quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
