I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
