the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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