Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize