you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
