so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
