just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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