Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
