Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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