You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
