bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize