i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
