like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
