i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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