The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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