Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
