My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
