At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize