honey bunches of taint.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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