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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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