I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.