I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?