Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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(214): View more from Texas

I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

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(541): View more from Oregon

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.

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(818): View more from California

The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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(714): View more from California

Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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(214): View more from Texas

Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.

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(216): View more from Ohio

is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.

(954): View more from Florida

God I love you.

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