I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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