She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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