i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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