just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize