I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
