my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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